he shaved USA in his pubs
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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