I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
