Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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