it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize