if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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