I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
There's always time for handjobs
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
