ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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