please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
