there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
