Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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