I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize
