I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize
