i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
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