He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
