just survived the first fart of the relationship.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
