i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
