I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize