Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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