PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Randomize
