I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
