If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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