Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Farmville is her only friend.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
