I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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