im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
