operation harelip BJ is a go
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize