do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Randomize
