his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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