so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
