I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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