So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
