i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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