I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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