theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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