I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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