cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
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