Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
