I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
