If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
