We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
