Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
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Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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