We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize