he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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