Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
