I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Randomize
