Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I love you. Go after that dick
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
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