Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
The power of my boobs compel you
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
