He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
