His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
