Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
