If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
