I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
