I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize