just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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