It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
