ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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