I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Your dad touched me again.
it was like eating out sand paper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize