I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
