im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
